Identity Crisis.

Once you think you've got yourself all figured out... you surprise yourself with something completely new and you find yourself in square one again.

I see myself as a pretty unique individual most of the time. I'm not one to care what other people think about me, I go out in public wearing some odd things, I've got plenty of piercings and a tattoo. I listen to the type of music that makes some people cringe, and when I feel like being weird, I let loose. But from time to time, when I stop to actually think about who I am, I get lost, draw a blank, have no clue what to think. How do I define myself? How do I describe myself? What is my personality like? Who am I?

I really wish that I could ask people to describe me for myself. I'm curious to know what type of person I really am and who better to let me know than those people who are the closest to me? But I know I would get all sorts of different replies and opinions, so I just may never know.

This coming year is definitely going to help me figure out what type of person I am and what I can use to define myself. (I bring this up a lot when I write, so if I've already mentioned this in a previous blog you've read, I apologize.) I'm really hoping that the opportunity for me to try new things or experiment is not going to change me. I'm not sure I want to change really. I'd almost rather stay the same person but find the puzzle pieces that were missing formerly, to build me up to who I am. To make me stronger I guess.

It will be good to be able to break away from some of the restrictions and boundaries there are around me that keep me held back from figuring this all out. It will be good to go out on my own where the world can take me and mold me the way I'm supposed to be, just based on my own mind and experiences. You can't get a whole lot of that in high school, even if I did have some experiences not a ton of people get.

I'm already starting to feel some of the workings that going to college is going to make me endure. Some of them are pretty cool, but many of them so far have got me way stressed out. Hopefully I'll survive going off to live on my own, and juggling everything I have to juggle. I've done some pretty intense juggling before, but some new factors that have been thrown in, are like knives tossed in the equation. The last thing I need to do is get myself stabbed.