Be the change.

It seems as though I'm living in a day and age where nobody can be completely happy. It always seems like there are complaints about how things just aren't good enough, or everything is too overwhelming or something just has to go wrong. I've met some generally happy people and people who act as though they don't get bothered by anything but I have yet to know someone very well that is absolutely positively content in their life. And it's not our fault that things are like this. There are plenty of worldly factors that can keep us from feeling like everything is right. If our own lives have no problems, then the problems of the world work their way into our lives. What's worse is that we're expected to do something about them, even if our own lives are perfectly fine.

But what if we looked at things in a different light? What if instead of dealing with the problems we were simply making a change? What if every time something went wrong, instead of going over all the negative aspects over and over, we just simply made it positive? It sounds like a difficult idea but is it really? What do we do if we're sitting in an uncomfortable position? We don't whine about it, we simply change positions to make ourselves comfortable. Why couldn't we do this in our day to day lives?

Now, in reality to change some of our life's problems, it would take a little more time to fix them than changing a sitting position. But acting upon the process of fixing something that's wrong is better than doing nothing at all. If you really think about it, for all the problems that you may have in your life there is a positive way to change things. If you aren't happy with your job, work a little harder and try to find a new one. If you hate where you live, take the time to find somewhere else and move. If you don't like the state of Haiti from what you see on the news then make a donation or go on a missions trip. Doing those things are better than doing nothing at all right?

I've heard that it takes 30 days to create a habit. One month of doing something over and over and then it becomes second nature. You don't even think about it anymore it just happens for you. Well maybe we should all take the next month and form a habit. A habit of instead of going over all our problems in our heads day by day and remaining stressed and unhappy, we took those problems and changed something to make them go away. If you don't, then you just end up sitting and regretting choices, or being depressed about your life, or being overwhelmed and stressed. If you do then maybe you'll be happier. I think it sounds like it's worth it.

The only place I want to be right now.

Things I want to do in Disneyland/DCA:
-Take my good camera and spend a day exploring and taking amazing pictures of amazing things.
-Get proposed to. (That would make my life.)
-Have engagement pictures taken.
-Go there during Christmas time.
-Go there on my birthday.
-Take my kiddos there.
-Take my grandkiddos there.
-Go there with some of my best friends.

Things I want to do in Disneyworld:
-Just actually go again.

I am in love with Disneyland. That's the only place I want to be right now.

Disney Cruise :)

So I’ve been on one of these cruises once before, but It’s been almost ten years since… and I was only ten to begin with! So I really would like to go again, during a time when I could better remember such an amazing experience. Probably won’t happen for some time, but some of my friends and I would like to try to go after we graduate from college in a few years. So it’s definitely time to start saving!!

See more progress on: go on a Disney cruise

So close and yet so far.

You know what sucks the most about the point of life I'm in right now? Restrictions.

I'm at a point in life where I can see my future a bit more clearly and things are starting to pull together for me. I'm doing things that are directly going to affect what I can do with my life and I can almost touch my dreams. It's all right in front of me....

But there's a huge invisible force field of some sort all around it.

Living at home is part of the force field. By not being out on my own it's harder to do the things that I want to do when I want to do them. My parents are being very controlling and unneccessary most of the time even though they said they wouldn't. It's not only for the sake of my dreams that I need to get out of here ASAP, but also for the sake of my sanity. *sigh* if only I weren't broke.

Another issue, as mentioned slightly there, is money... mostly the lack of it. I'm not really getting any source of income at the moment, and it's definitely unfortunate. My first semester this year is going to be extremely busy anyways, without a job, so maybe by next semester I could possibly find a job.

And yet another obstacle standing in my way is the fact that I'm a "no good rotten teenager." You know, the type that isn't to be trusted and shouldn't be taking on responsibilities since they're unreliable? Ok well, actually I'm a little better than that and I can actually be a very trusted and reliable person. Too bad most adults don't see that.

So even though I'm ready to start my photography business and go further on in my life and live off by myself for myself and such... I can't. I'm stuck here like a little kid, and don't get me wrong I love being a little kid... but I know there's so much more out there for me to do. And I CAN do it.

But no one else thinks so.

Will you come back again?

If it was all a dream then we really never could tell.

We danced and laughed and I thought it was real.

My feelings and emotions sure were.

And as they now lie shattered on the floor,

These songs just remind me of you.

All I can see is my future.

But again there's something missing.

And I know what it is, something I thought I had found.

All there's left to do is move forward.

I close my eyes and just listen to the music.

You changed my mind about so many things.

I never changed my mind about you.

But you did, and now I live in doubt.

It was you the entire time, my heart is battered.

They sing me softly to sleep.

When the world makes no more sense,

I try to make even less.

But when the world shatters in front of me,

All I can do is watch.

My heart dances "but not for joy."

"Dreams never die 

when we sleep 

beneath the open sky 

in the deep 

shades overhead 

of blue and red 

is this the end 

will you come back again?"

New Years Resolutions... 6 months later.

So I found my list of new years resolutions today that I wrote at the beginning of 2010. It wasn't a very long list, but even so I was surprised to see that I had already accomplished all but one of them. It was a very rewarding find, I definitely felt pretty good about how much of what I had wanted to succeed in at the beginning of the year I had actually done. What was even better was that I had not posted this list anywhere or set up reminders about anything I had written. In all honesty I wrote the list the night of New Years Eve and then completely forgot about it after that. Even so, I accomplished some of the things that I thought I would more easily blow off, and have been working on them more regularly than I thought I could.

I am a member of a website called 43 Things. It's basically a website where you can list some of the goals you would like to accomplish and keep track of those things throughout time. You can set up reminders, have people hold you accountable, cheer other people on and even explain how you accomplished things to better help others attempting to work on the same goals. I really like this website because it helps that feeling of accomplishment when you are able to record things you have succeeded in and have other people see what you can do. I've added more to my list now that I've seen that I'm very capable of meeting my goals, and hopefully this year will be a very successful one!

I especially want to start working on some new goals now that my life has recently gone through some changes I wasn't really expecting. Things that I thought would work out in the long run didn't and I feel the need to break out and be a little more free with myself now. I'm excited to try some new things and really push myself to live life more.