I'm absentmindedly keeping secrets. Like, I didn't realize how many secrets I was really keeping from people. And have you ever had something buzzing in your mind so loud, you just couldn't concentrate on anything else? Well, imagine that times 20. It would be great if I could just vent them out so that I could get them off my mind or talk about them, but just spilling out years worth of secrets to someone might be a bit... overwhelming.
Why do people keep secrets? I imagine most of it is fear, we don't want certain people to know certain things about our lives... they might judge, or laugh, or cause people to turn on you. Even if we hoped for a better outcome... maybe the help and understanding we truly need, we still fear the worst. It's always assumed that keeping that secret locked up inside where you can protect it would be the smarter idea. Even if it kills you wondering what would happen if the cat was let out of the bag.
But do the possible negative outcomes always outweigh the possible positive ones? So if you tell him you love him, yes he could freak out... a tarnished friendship vs a possible love. So you've had a rough patch in your life recently, they might see you differently... abandonment v seriously needed help. How do you compare those things? As much as you'd love to see the positive come through for you, it just doesn't always work out that way, and the negative just isn't worth the pain. It's impossible to decide, no wonder nobody can sleep anymore.
I think secrets keep us all from being happy... Like truly sincerely happy. We all know what we want, there are just too many things holding us back to get that. Our fears of the unknown control our every move, and yet it's only the unknown because of all the secrets we keep. What a great circle right?
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