If I had a lot more confidence.

Maybe, if I had a lot more confidence, I would just walk up to you one day. I would say hello, ask how you are, start a conversation. We could get to know each other better, become friends of a sort. Then, if I had a lot more confidence, I would tell you how I feel. Maybe it would be a surprise, maybe not. Perhaps you would feel the same, if I had a lot more confidence, it would be ok if you didn't.

These are some of the scenarios that can run over and over in my head. Somewhat perfect interactions that I know will never happen. I would be extremely lucky if they ever did. But instead I stay in my comfort zone on the other side of the room, watching as you enjoy yourself with your friends. And it's alright that you'll go on with your life never knowing that even though I tell myself I'm super lame and I definitely try not to think about you, I still do all the time. It's ok because I definitely don't do a lot of work making it any other way.

I'll eventually move on, everything will just keep flowing like nothing was ever astray, but there's always that glimmer of wondering what might have happened... if I had been just a little more confident.