5 am.

This is the third night in a row that I've been awake until 5 am. All three times I've been awake mostly because of the pain that I'm feeling in my side, partly by other things that have been haunting my mind throughout the night. The pain in my side is supposedly going to go away soon, but might come back every month. Something to look forward to huh. The thoughts will come and go as they please apparently, I don't seem to have much control over them at the moment. That's ok with me for the most part.

Tonight it's a mixture of how lucky I am right now and how grateful to God I am right now. I may have some serious medical issues going on right now and they may continue to haunt me for most of my life or even create complications later on but I didn't have to go into surgery today. And it wasn't something deadly. And the pain won't be there forever. Plus, they figured out what the problem was this time on the first try. Last time it took 3 ER trips before they finally got it right.

It gets light out at about this time. Sometimes I wish it didn't get light out until about 10. I know that sounds weird but since I sleep until 10 most of the time it just seems like that's really when the morning should start. Especially during the summer because the sun causes my room to get really hot before I'm ready to get out of bed and escape downstairs where it's cooler. Although this summer I guess I'll be waking up earlier than I normally do during the summer... at least that's what I'm planning on.

Tonight one of the topics on my mind is God. I bought a purity ring the other day. I intend on serving it's purpose for a while at least. I think I'm making some better steps towards him this time and I hope that keeping with it will continue to improve my life. So far, so good.

Right about now my body is finally reminding me that sleep is really neccessary to life and since life is getting a little more hectic for me now sleep would be rather important. Tomorrow I cut my hair. Another subliminal step towards renewing myself. It's the small things that count sometimes. I have some second chances to take up on as well. And an essay to revise. And packing to catch up on. And ice cream to look forward to.

Oh, and I hope you like my new layout. I thought it was more fitting.

Goodnight....er... morning.