Not That Summer?

So I've been thinking lately that maybe this isn't "that" summer for me. I mean, I want it to be so bad and if it is I'll gladly claim how wrong I was, but at the moment... all signs point to no.

Maybe I should explain what "that" summer is. Its the summer I've been waiting for since I was 14. The summer you see in the movies where you start to define yourself and you really discover what you were put on this earth to do. I really felt like at age 20 this would be a good year for that summer. Plus with how positive I've been feeling and finally figuring out what I might be doing with my life... I was pretty sure that was a magical combination.

But these past few days I've been struggling to keep the fire going. I have this huge list of things I want to do and none of them are happening. It's my fault but I'm also having a hard time fixing it. My insecurities are coming back and I'm just at a loss of what to do. Again.

Maybe I'm just exhausted, and maybe I'm pushing myself too hard when really what I need is a bit of a break. But at this point in time I just really need a push in the right direction and I really hope that I find that real quick. I only have like 90 days of summer left.

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