It's not about you anymore.

I'm never gonna be happy until I actually realize that my life is not meant to be lived trying to make other people happy. I'm never going to actually live until I'm working for myself. Until I am being selfish, I will never be who I need to be to survive.

I always thought people who only really thought about making things better for themselves were absolute jerks. I'm not saying that we should never spend any time at all trying to make things better for people in need if we can, but it's not rational to go on constantly, never being selfish once in a while. Because if you don't make things right for yourself, then how can you help other people? Yeah, you can't.

That's been my mistake. I want to be the hero when I'm the one that needs to be saved. I want to be the solution when I can't solve my own problems. Maybe I run to other people's issues to avoid my own, but that's not gonna cut it anymore.

So I'm gonna work a little harder to make things great in my life, and spend a lot less time trying to help others. Because I can't really do a good job of helping if I'm a trainwreck... and I'm pretty close to being that.