How come?

It's hard to justify why I even cared. There was no solid foundation to base things on, there wasn't any type of real relationship for me to grasp on. Just a lot of hope. False hope. So why do I care as much as I do now? I guess that bit of hope had more fire to it then I realized. I really thought something was going to evolve.

Did I really think that anything good was going to come from all of it? I think part of me did expect for things to work out the way I wanted them to for a change. It might have been too good to be true if it had worked out that way... it really would have been too good to be true.

Thinking back, not that there can really be much to look back on, I think my eyes were masked. I was stupid enough to think that I might really have been cared for. I mean, that's what was said wasn't it? Because that must make it true. I was too blind to see it any way.

I've been used a few times before, why would this time be any different? Am I really so desperate that I would almost throw myself at any guy that stated they might like me? No I guess not, although it seems like I really would have done a lot of things for him, mostly because he said that I was pretty.

If it's clear for me to see that now, how come it's still so hard for me to accept that it's all over? I even ended it... How come I don't want it to be over? How can that be possible?