Poor Gustav.

My Gall Bladder: Does it stay or does it go?

So I have a hard time making decisions. More so than most people I know, I'm pretty sure more so than I should. Even every day decisions, like what cereal I should eat or whether I should wear flip flops or converse... and then what color converse... etc.

Now I am faced with an actual genuinely tough choice to make... and I am in a rut so deep I don't even know where to start to even get started. This is a decision that will literally change my life and I'm not really sure what to do about it. I have people on either sides trying to tell me why I should choose in whichever direction and I just don't know what to trust or expect... and so on.

On one hand, I make the decision to go through with the procedure. The poor thing comes out. (That's part of the reason I'm having such a hard time, I've grown quite attached to my gall bladder, it's been a part of me all my life. I've almost given it a name, but part of me does not dare to go that far.) There is no way to tell what to expect after this, it can go in one of several ways. I could be fine, no complications (I'll get to that soon), I recover nicely, my diet does not need to change drastically , happy end. There could be issues, such as blood clots, or whatever the heck else could go wrong, I could feel sick afterwards and end up going on a strict, never fun, horrid diet. Or I could die. The third is a very unlikely outcome... but who knows.

Or, I could choose not to get it out. I'll have to endure the pain for however much longer the pain decides to stick around, and have it get slightly worse every time I eat like it does now. I could risk more pain attacks and possible ER visits. I could take various pills for the rest of my life. Or it could all just go away. Again, the last is the least likely.

I am not really fond of the idea of surgery. The certain procedure I'm undergoing just freaks me out. (They of course explained it to me thoroughly and I really do wish that they hadn't.) It's pretty certain in my mind that I would be really afraid going into it, and no less afraid coming out of it. The whole not knowing what to expect thing kind of doesn't make things easier in the slightest for me.

However, I really need to make a decision soon, even if the decision is to not do anything at all. The pressure just makes things worse and I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

Poor Gustav. Gustav the gall bladder. Bah...