Friends.

A weird thing about friends. I'm finding as I get older that it becomes more and more hard to define what a freind is. Like suddenly as we grow older there's more to becoming friends then having the same favorite color or disney character. But at the same time, I don't think I would want it to be like that anymore. As you get older, the important things in your life change and therefore your day to day drama is no longer what are we going to play at recess, but rather needing to get a job and get through college.

Back to friends. I've gone through a huge transformation of who my friends are in the past few years. In high school, my group of friends were always band kids, we hung out in the band room, ate lunch at the band wall and played card games in the band hall. It was easy to tell who your friends were then, it was who you hung out with, had class with, ate lunch with. I'm not saying there wasn't plenty of drama then, because there definitely was, but it usually ended up resolved somehow and things would continue on.

Enter college. People go their separate ways. People start their own lives. And now comes the true test. Who do you continue being friends with? This is something I had a hard time with. The same group of people that I hung out with on a daily basis was no longer there for me. They had things to do, I had things to do and it was almost impossible to get together and hang out. My best friend and I were fortunate to have been able to get through her leaving for college with out me in one piece, me being in college almost made things easier for us. I was lucky enough to make new friends, the people in my dorm all. They became the people I hung out with, the people I went to class with and the people I ate with. I feel very blessed that I had them throughout that year.

But the other friends of mine, that I had been with all through high school never left my mind. (It was difficult for them too considering I had 60+ pictures of all of them on my wall.) I would see one or two of them every once in a while and hang out for a short time, but things were still definitely different. Some of my old friends I never saw at all. It was through all of this that I think I've begun to realize who my true friends are. It sounds so overdramatic to say that, but it really is true. The people who won't take the effort to hang out with me, or flake out on me or won't talk to me at all are definitely the people I'm not close to anymore. The people who do make an effort and I actually get to see quite often or talk to quite a bit are the people who I'm close to and consider to be my friends.

As much as I really wish I had some of my friends that I had during high school, I'm realizing that gaining new friends and keeping the friends that are more important is the most important thing to do.

Clubs and running.

Not being in band makes me feel the absolute urgent need to become part of a club. Any sort of club that might fit my interests, a photography club, a christian club, a music club, a blogging club, whatever. So you can imagine how absolutely ecstatic I am about the club fair I will be attending later today. I'm really hoping that it's not a blowout and that there are really some decent clubs to be had at my school. And I fully intend on signing up for something, unless there are absolute no clubs that would hold my interests whatsoever. I need to not sign up for any leadership positions for anything though. That would not be a good thing right now.

It's weird how lonely not being in an organization of some sort can make you. Don't get me wrong I have lovely friends outside of organizations that I do enjoy being around and spending time with. But I've found it's much harder to spend time with your friends when you don't have to be around them for some sort of meeting or practice or trip or something. I made most of my friends through band. We had to go to school and class and practices together and through all of that time we bonded and became great friends. Other friends I lived with. I'm not sure I really have friends that I've just met by chance somewhere, exchanged contact information and worked to make a friendship. Weird. It's good that I can at least keep some of the friends I've made through band or dorms even though I'm not in those environments anymore.



I planned on getting up semi early tomorrow and going for a run. It's 1 am right now, so I'm not really sure that's going to happen anymore. I need to start training with my running if I ever plan on getting any good at it. Right now I'm not good at it at all. Maybe that's why I keep putting it off. Meh. I really do hate running. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and makes my lungs feel like they're going to explode. It's not a very pleasant feeling for me. But I want to learn how to run well so that those things don't happen anymore when I run and then maybe I won't hate it so much anymore and then running just won't be a big deal for me anymore. Heck, maybe I'll enjoy it. Maybe I'll still get up just a little earlier so I can start. We'll see how that goes for me.

Maybe I need to join a running club.

Random catching up.

I should have gone to Pima first.

Seriously I think I'm going to love school this year. So far all of my professors have been great, all my classes seem at least a little fun (even my math class doesn't seem to be too bad and I HATE math.) I'm getting a ton of positive energy being there, which I never got really at the U of A. Maybe that was just me and how my personality works, but I definitely know that right now Pima is the right place for me. I feel like my goal of getting a 4.0 is actually possible. And I'm not just another number here. The professors actually care about why we're here and what we want out of our education at that school. It's pretty amazing.

I think I've decided that four dogs is a good number to have. I want four boxers when I've settled down and have a job (oh, you know maybe a husband, I don't know yet.) Surprisingly enough, they seem like enough company in general. But my poor puppy at home is all lonely while I'm dogsitting :( I think I'll take him to the dog park some day next week as a treat for this week being all lonesome.

The monsoon was procrastinating I think. Now it's rushing to get all of it's work done before it's too late. I love it :) I could live with having this type of weather all the time I think. If I wanted sun I could go to a beach somewhere and be content and then be able to leave the heat whenever... That's why I'm moving to Colorado the first chance I get. I think I've been in Tucson long enough. Bah. It's starting to rain a bit while I type this :)

Cymbals or vibes?

Let Love Not Weigh Me Down.

I hate the way this feels.
Here are some lyrics to try to explain.
Although they don't even start to explain.
Meh.

 

 

"Let love not weigh me down
Let the cursed air be clean
When you've lost faith in the human race
Let love not weigh me down

Let love not cause me pain
Let it all seem like a dream
And I won't regret what I can't forget
Let love not cause you pain

So let your beauty blind my vision
Let it move me 'til I die
And the seeds of despair won't be fruits that I bear
Let the beauty blind my vision

So shed all the tears that you want
Run from the places you haunt
If you think you're lost
Or just double-crossed
Don't try to make sense of it all
Let the music and words take you back
To the times when your heart wasn't cracked
We won't be suffering with drugs and bad medicine
We'll drink 'til the curtain calls

Let love not weigh me down
Let its weakness be my guide
And all this intensity makes perfect sense to me
Let love not weigh you down

So shed all the tears that you want
Run from the places you haunt
If you think you're lost
Or just double-crossed
Don't try to make sense of it all
Let the music and words take you back
To the times when your heart wasn't cracked
We won't be suffering with drugs and bad medicine
We'll drink 'til the curtain calls"

Be the change.

It seems as though I'm living in a day and age where nobody can be completely happy. It always seems like there are complaints about how things just aren't good enough, or everything is too overwhelming or something just has to go wrong. I've met some generally happy people and people who act as though they don't get bothered by anything but I have yet to know someone very well that is absolutely positively content in their life. And it's not our fault that things are like this. There are plenty of worldly factors that can keep us from feeling like everything is right. If our own lives have no problems, then the problems of the world work their way into our lives. What's worse is that we're expected to do something about them, even if our own lives are perfectly fine.

But what if we looked at things in a different light? What if instead of dealing with the problems we were simply making a change? What if every time something went wrong, instead of going over all the negative aspects over and over, we just simply made it positive? It sounds like a difficult idea but is it really? What do we do if we're sitting in an uncomfortable position? We don't whine about it, we simply change positions to make ourselves comfortable. Why couldn't we do this in our day to day lives?

Now, in reality to change some of our life's problems, it would take a little more time to fix them than changing a sitting position. But acting upon the process of fixing something that's wrong is better than doing nothing at all. If you really think about it, for all the problems that you may have in your life there is a positive way to change things. If you aren't happy with your job, work a little harder and try to find a new one. If you hate where you live, take the time to find somewhere else and move. If you don't like the state of Haiti from what you see on the news then make a donation or go on a missions trip. Doing those things are better than doing nothing at all right?

I've heard that it takes 30 days to create a habit. One month of doing something over and over and then it becomes second nature. You don't even think about it anymore it just happens for you. Well maybe we should all take the next month and form a habit. A habit of instead of going over all our problems in our heads day by day and remaining stressed and unhappy, we took those problems and changed something to make them go away. If you don't, then you just end up sitting and regretting choices, or being depressed about your life, or being overwhelmed and stressed. If you do then maybe you'll be happier. I think it sounds like it's worth it.

The only place I want to be right now.

Things I want to do in Disneyland/DCA:
-Take my good camera and spend a day exploring and taking amazing pictures of amazing things.
-Get proposed to. (That would make my life.)
-Have engagement pictures taken.
-Go there during Christmas time.
-Go there on my birthday.
-Take my kiddos there.
-Take my grandkiddos there.
-Go there with some of my best friends.

Things I want to do in Disneyworld:
-Just actually go again.

I am in love with Disneyland. That's the only place I want to be right now.

Disney Cruise :)

So I’ve been on one of these cruises once before, but It’s been almost ten years since… and I was only ten to begin with! So I really would like to go again, during a time when I could better remember such an amazing experience. Probably won’t happen for some time, but some of my friends and I would like to try to go after we graduate from college in a few years. So it’s definitely time to start saving!!

See more progress on: go on a Disney cruise